I'm Going To Win A House

So I bought my very first Full House Lottery ticket. For those of you who don't live in Edmonton, or who do live here and have never seen the commercials or heard the radio spots, the Full House Lottery is a charity in support of the University Hospital Foundation and the Royal Alexandra Hospital. Tickets are $100 and the prizes are amazing. Like, really. Expensive cars, lavish holidays, and yes, houses. Fully furnished, gigantic, brand new houses. These houses also come equipped with a new car, spending cash, and a holiday somewhere exotic.
You're probably thinking "Oh boy! Oh goodie!" I know, because that's what I've been thinking for years. I've always meant to buy a ticket, or three. But instead I squirrelled away my money, and took myself on vacations that I actually had to pay for. Foolish, yes?
Well this year I finally took the plunge. I purchased my very own Ticket. Yes, it deserves a capital. It's like a Golden Ticket. I feel confident there is a large prize in store for me. And here's why:
Picture the scene: A grade school class is bent over in concentration, little hands gripping plastic cards in white fists, straining to hear the teacher. The teacher pulls out a simple white ball and says: "Oh nine."
A child in the back snaps her head up, eyes shining, and yells out "Bingo! Bingo!" The teacher smiles and hands the girl a Santa shaped eraser. The little girl promises herself she will cherish the prize forever, and hand it down to her own children, one day.
The little girl in the happy scene is not me. I never, ever won anything in school bingo games. Or anywhere else, for that matter. Okay, that's a lie: one time I won a pink cell phone from Suzy Shier. I couldn't use it, so I gave it to Boyfriend. Boyfriend loves it. But I never won anything else. I swear.
Anyway, since I've been so unlucky with prizes in the past, I figure Fate is saving something great for me. Something great like a dream home. I clearly deserve a million-dollar home after my years of suffering at the hands of bingo. However, since I know there are thousands of other people in the city hoping for the same thing, I will settle for a trip to France. Or Spain.
And so Fate, I will tip you the wink: Give Cait the dream home.
That is all.